Temper tantrums are fits of anger that are usually caused by frustration. When a child has a tantrum, he or she loses control of feelings and talks and acts in a negative way. Temper tantrums consist of out-of-control behavior, including:
Tantrums can be followed by prolonged crying.
Temper tantrums are very common in children between the ages of 1 and 4 years. By the time a child is 4 years old, he or she should be having fewer tantrums.
Tantrums occur most often in toddlers because during this time children are going through several very important stages. These include:
Tantrums are mainly a physical expression of a child's bad mood. Toddlers have more tantrums than older children because they haven't learned how to control their moods. The limited language skills of the young child add to his or her frustration.
Tantrums vary in intensity and frequency. Children are born with certain traits that make up their temperament, or the "style" or "flavor" of their behavior. Parents often take the blame if their toddlers seem out of control. But intense, negative toddlers do not choose to be that way. Their behavior reflects the temperament they were born with and other people's response to it. It is not totally under their conscious control.
Parents and others need to understand that temper tantrums are a normal part of early child development. Toddlers who have tantrums are not "bad." They are just trying in their own, limited way to sort out the rules of their social environment.
Temper tantrums in children between the ages of 1 and 4 are normal. Tantrums that go beyond this age, especially if they are frequent, severe, and associated with aggressive behavior, are a sign of a larger behavioral problem. These children are at risk for having more serious behavioral problems later in life. Children older than 4 who have such tantrums should be evaluated by a professional.
There are some things parents and other caregivers can do to deal with a child's temper tantrums. These include:
Many community organizations, such as schools or churches, offer courses to help parents deal with their children's tantrums and misbehavior.